literature

we're all dying in the end.

Deviation Actions

Published: May 19, 2009

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Literature Text

_{You better remember these words, I'll only ever say them once

I often wondered why the world seemed so dark even when the sun was showing itself against the bright blues of the sky. Maybe I found myself moving closer to the shadows than to the light. Maybe I just wanted to feel alone instead of alive. Maybe I just loved the dark.

You stopped playing with cookie-cutter hearts and instead made it your mission to put mine back together. Too bad my heart is like a game of Perfection. All the pieces have a specific place they have to go, and if you don't get them all in before time runs out, they fall back out again. You insisted you would figure it out somehow. I insisted that I'm the kind of puzzle that's near impossible to solve. There were just too many x's, and too many o's. Maybe I liked the idea of little pieces of my heart falling out to leave a trail I could follow later. Maybe I just liked games.

I never believed in magic, but I was all too quick to believe that dreams come true. I was black magic weaved through my fingertips that made the world turn to ash, instead of gold. You said it didn't matter, I could still be a princess if I wanted to. I said no. I was always scared that the crown would slip down and choke me. Maybe I thought I deserved it.

The dials on the radio playing in your car got lost along the way. Now all you can hear is static and songs pushing their way through the airwaves trying to have their melodies heard. You never wanted to hear the crackle and hiss but you did anyway. Now you listen to the silence, the music shrinking back into the shadows. Maybe I thought you would learn to like my broken-record thoughts. Maybe I wanted you to have a reason to stop listening to me.

You told me to hush and that the world would figure itself out, and I could just go back to the sweet taste of summer dreams and fairytale wishes. I told you I had nightmares instead of dreams (I learned my lesson the first time) and that my wishes were far from happily ever afters. Maybe I wanted you to know the truth. Maybe I liked the way your face twisted with pain, all because you loved me too much.

I woke to you writing words on my palms. You called me sleeping beauty and closed my lids like they do to the deceased. I never opened my eyes till the sun was far too high in the sky for it to be still considered morning. Your words were nothing short of breathtaking and still I knew I had to keep breathing, if only for you. I'm the one that's dying. Maybe I didn't want to believe those words. Maybe that's why my tears blurred them and made them a big blue mess.

I believed you. I stopped walking through cemeteries at night too (I liked making up stories about the people written on tombstones). I was scared I might find your name there someday soon (or mine). Maybe I needed something to believe in. Maybe I needed you to need me.

I believe I'm alone now

P.S. You fixed my heart (and broke it again, but I won't tell you that. I can't tell you that).
Now there are not enough x's and not enough o's.}

_{Yeah it's long. I hope you read it anyways though.

fiction. meaning not real. remember that.
(even though I made myself cry writing this)
and I don't cry. like ever.

Tell me if there are mistakes. I know there are.

atreyu}