literature

ill-fitting hearts.

Deviation Actions

Published: Sep 6, 2009

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Literature Text

_{"Do you know why she's dying?"

"Do you?"

"Because I broke her heart. God, I feel so fucking bad about that."

"No she's stronger than most I know. She's dying because you told her to."

"What? No, that doesn't even make sense."

"Think about it. She would do anything, for you."

-

You were nineteen and fell for the girl with the ballet toes and unreliable heart. You were a robot, programed to say her name every time you were asked a question. And when you urged your feelings to a breaking point, you found her standing outside your door with an i-love-you note and a field of asymmetrical freckles. That was all you needed to get down on one knee.

-

"Remember on your birthday, how she blew out the candles for you?"

"Yeah, because she was everything I wanted. God was good to me last year, giving me my wish before I even saw the candles."

-

She had the kind of eye lashes that curl up naturally like spider limbs when they die but she would wear sleep like eyeliner to make her look sick and damaged. On her wedding day, she married the wine before she married you. You wrote it off as nerves, but you knew she had a problem. You married her anyway.

-

"She just needed help. I could give that to her."

"Yeah, but did you?"

-

You told her that the only thing that mattered was that she was happy. But inside, you worried if she would 'sleepwalk' into the streets again. And you wondered why your clothes hangers still clung to garments that never wanted to be worn. She just didn't fit as well as she used to.

-

"I got her help though. I did. Therapy and rehab and medication and.."

"But did you remember to love her?"

"Yes, of course I did. It's not something you have to remember, it's involuntary."

-

You asked for a break. You thought it was the stress, the changes, the anxiety of your new marriage that was hurting her. She thought you wanted a divorce. "Don't you still love me?" she asked. "Till death do us part." "But do you love me?" and you never answered. Instead you kissed her (goodbye). "Okay," she whispered.

-

"Do you see now?"

"I didn't mean it literally."

"She would do anything, for you."}